Saddam's Sweet Tooth

It seems that Saddam Hussein has developed a taste for muffins while in custody, and insists on having them for breakfast every morning. Could express shipments of Krispy Kreme doughnuts be far behind? Now there's a convoy I wouldn't mind hijacking!

He's also passing the hours writing a "slander poem" - or "Hijaa" in Arabic - about George W. Bush, that he had hoped to submit to the Democratic Convention in Boston this week :-P

Kudos to Sheikh Nawaf!

Just so you know that I give credit where it's due... I am thrilled that our Minister of the Interior, Sheikh Nawaf Al-Ahmad refused to meet with some tribal figures who came begging forclemency (or "wasta") for the recently arrested terrorists.

Anyone who knowingly tries to influence the government to go easy on a confirmed terrorist, should also be branded a terrorist and thrown into jail as well!

The Missionary Government

No, not that kind of "missionary"! Get your minds out of the gutter! ;-P

You can always count on Abdul-Latif Al-Duaij to call things as they are and not mince words. In his column today, he recalls reading in the papers about an "anonymous source" who blames the current increase in wayward teens being brainwashed and recruited into Islamist terrorist squads solely on these kids' parents. "How can a child disappear for a whole week without his parents knowing anything?" this source snorted derisively. Al-Duaij counters with his own sarcasm: "How can extremists control the country's mosques and pulpits, not for a week or a month or even a year, but for decades without the government 'knowing anything'?"

Of course parents are ultimately responsible for how their children turn out, but they also look up to a government that has forged an unholy alliance with the Islamist forces of darkness since 1976 - the year parliament was suspended, incidentally. The past 30 years have given us a missionary government hell-bent on spreading the word of Islam across Kuwait, as if we were a nation of heathens, in collaboration with Islamists who have infiltrated every aspect of public life from schools to mosques to security forces. Instead of learning things that kids could put to practical use in their adult lives, they are taught fear and loathing and eternal damnation in hell. It's reached a point where supposedly normal, God-fearing, law-abiding Kuwaitis continuously feel they're not "religious enough" and end up deferring to religious authorities for guidance in every aspect of their lives.

In another column by Ahmad Al-Sarraf, also in today's Al-Qabas, he asks why it is that after over 14 centuries of Islam, 10 centuries since the founding of Al-Azhar, 100 years of religious education in Kuwait, and 75 years of public education.. there's still an increasing number of ignorant people who feel the need to ask so-called "religious figures" if running a red traffic light is a sin!

Is it any wonder today's kids are so screwed up? Thank God I'm old enough to have escaped that tide of ignorance and repression, and that I had the benefit of educated parents who brought us up well.

Oh Bluetooth.. what have you done?!

Unless you've been living in a cave the past few weeks, you will no doubt have heard about the latest cries of outrage from our permanently outraged Islamist MPs over the use of Bluetooth technology to "spread evil and corrupt the minds of our youth and erode our traditional values!!"

This all came about after a few guys with too much time on their hands used their camera-phones to take still pictures or movies of unsuspecting girls (and boys!) in compromising positions and broadcast them all over the place using Bluetooth wireless technology. I haven't seen any of these pictures, but they apparently run from totally harmless shots of girls stuffing their faces with french fries to other more, um, "explicit" shots.

As expected, our Islamist MPs can be counted on to call for a total ban on these devices. The question I have is this: Can we find similar incidents of abuse of Bluetooth technology in Europe, where it was invented? Or is this sick behavior exclusive to bored and repressed societies such as ours? There is a correlation at work here; the more repressed a society, the more depraved its frustrated teenagers. Hence, in Saudi Arabia the big scandal a few weeks ago was the filming and subsequent broadcasting of a video of a girl being RAPED!!

Norway has our problems too

I read this interesting article in the New York Times about Norway. You need to register for free to read it, but here's the opening paragraph:

Before the oil boom, when Norway was mostly poor and largely isolated, the country survived on its hard work and self-reliance, two stalwart Scandinavian virtues. Now, with the country still bulging from three decades of oil money, Norway is discovering that sudden wealth does not come without complications: The country's bedrock work ethic is caving in. Like the overindulged children of newly minted millionaires, Norwegians now stay home from work at a rate that is the highest in Europe, outdoing even the former titleholder, Sweden.

Sound familiar? Of course it does, but don't be fooled. When Norwegians do show up to work, they actually work very hard and are very productive. The same cannot be said about government workers in Kuwait, whose presence or absence have pretty much the same effect.

Playlist July 24 - 30

I'm back to listening to both of Alicia Keys's albums. I am in awe of her incredible talent and beauty. Long may she reign!

I also bought Amr Diab's new CD, which is a return to form after last year's disappointing release. The track "Laily Nahari" is terrific. Now let's get him a new photographer and will someone tell him to cut back on the peroxide? It's not healthy!

Other tracks that caught my interest and prompted a download:

1. Martin Solveig - Rockin' Music: A rockin' dance tune. Unless you've got 2 left feet, I defy anyone to sit still for this one
2. Jamie Cullum - High & Dry: A live jazzy version of the Radiohead classic.
3. Wendy & Lisa - Are you my baby?: I've searched high and low for this one. A slinky, funky Prince-inspired gem from 1989 by - wouldn't you know it? - Prince's former bandmates.
   

Weekend

A friend told me that he read in Al-Anbaa' the other day, something about plans to unify the weekend for everyone in Kuwait. Whereas now the government and schools shut down on Thursday and Friday, and the oil and banking sectors close on Friday and Saturday, the proposed plan seeks to mandate Friday and Saturday for everyone.

When I worked in banking, I hated the Saturdays off because Wednesday nights were always fun and we'd have to wake up for work on Thursday. And then on Saturday I would be bored out of my skull because most people I wanted to see were working. Friday nights weren't much better either, and the last thing I wanted to do was hang out with my work colleagues.

Now I have Thursdays off and I love it, but there's just one drawback. If I want to go to Beirut for the weekend, I would have to take Saturday and Sunday off as well to enjoy the weekend there, so that's 2 days out of my vacation time.

If the weekend is unified across all sectors, it would be more pleasant and there wouldn't be any "weekend envy"! ;-)

Meanwhile.... it's 49 degrees celsius outside!!!

Qualitynet are morons!

A girl I know just told me that Style.com - the website for Vogue and GQ magazines, is blocked by Qualitynet.

And before some geek tells me to activate a proxy connection to bypass Qualitynet, let me just say this.... "THAT'S NOT THE F&%$ING POINT!!"

You are now fully authorized to send all hate mail to Qualitynet at this address support@qualitynet.net

Zaydoun's List

Last week, my online friend Pink Suede Shoes compiled a list of her favorite things in Kuwait (mainly shopping and eating!) that also served as a useful guide for locals and visitors alike. However, as befits an overwhelmingly pink blog, it was a tad girly.. So without further ado, here's my guys' list in response to each item on hers and a few of the items listed in the comments. I then got carried away...

1. Best Haircut: Salmiya: Hadi at GQ, Downtown: Mesbah at Hello.
2. Best Travel Agent: Barakat
3. Best Office Supplies: Mogahwi, Sultan Center,  and I'm told that Jarir is good too
4. Best Men's Gym: The Palms is pretty impressive. I haven't yet seen the new one called O2, but I'll report on it when I do.
5. Best way to get rid of your belly: Sign up for Hypoxi Vacunaut at JW Marriott. Now!
6. Best Pool Club: The Palms
7. Best Beach: Hilton Resort
8. Best Dentist: Bayan Dental Clinic. Get your teeth checked with a killer view!
9. Best Sports Injury Clinic: International Clinic, Mowasat Hospital
10. Best Outdoor Hangout: In decent weather, you can't beat Marina Crescent at sunset. The terraces at Souk Sharq and Le Notre are pleasant during the week too, especially after work.
11. Best Indoor Hangout: Marina Mall if you can handle the noise and the crowds.
12. Best Private Party Space: "Hangout" at Galleria 2000, Astro Lounge in Shaab.
13. Best Bookstore: Qurtas for Arabic books. Sadly, Virgin Megastore for English. I haven't yet been to Jarir, mainly because I hate that area, but I hear it's good.
14. Best Outdoor Terrace: Burj Al-Hamam's terrace is spectacular. The balcony at Le Notre is nice too
15. Best Dishdasha Fabric: Abdulla Taqi, Abul-Hassan.
16. Best Dishdasha Tailor: Al-Mas (I've been going since I was a kid).
17. Best Headgear: For qutras and gahfiya's there's only Abdullah Al-Musallam in the old souq.
18. Best Dress Shoes: Go during the sales to Villa Moda, Tod's, Comfort Shoe, Emporio Armani.
19. Best Casual Men's clothing: Villa Moda, Polo Sport, Diesel, Top Man.
20. Best Suits: Zegna, Paul Smith, Canali, Lanvin.
21. Best Designer Bargains: The Villa Moda sale, designer knock-offs at Zara and Top Man.
22. Best Jeans: Diesel if you're fit, Ralph Lauren jeans if you're not.
23. Best Sunglasses: Hassan's (have they been sued by Harrod's yet for their logo?)
24. Best Bokhour (incense and sandalwood): Al-Marshood
25. Best Watches: Kuwaitis have this obsession with expensive watches that I somehow escaped. There all kinds of expensive watches available here, but nothing says pure class better than a Cartier.
26. Best Boat & Jetski servicing: Al-Sabih
27. Best Cinema: The one at Laila Gallery for unbelievable seats. Since it's a single theatre and not part of a multiplex, this would ideally be the place to show serious arthouse flicks and documentaries... sigh!
28. Best Audio: Fahad Bourisly can totally refit your space with premium audio equipment at half the cost of the bigger dealerships.
29. Best ISP: Qualitynet is a misnomer if ever there was one. Gulfsat will be coming soon with a high speed DSL service that leaves the others in the dust.
30. Best Music Store: None. Even Virgin sucks.. Buy online!

And now for the food:

1. Best Japanese: Maki, hands down. Yes it's loud and your clothes smell like Tepanyaki when you leave.. but who cares? It's not like you're going clubbing later! Edo and Wasabi are hip and stylish, but something's not quite right there and I haven't yet figured it out. Sakura creeps me out, and Kei is just dull. Haven't tried Kamikaze yet.
2. Best Burger: Johnny Rockets for now.. until some enterprising soul decides to open a non-franchise real burger joint. The mini-burgers at Nino have a cult following even beyond Kuwait's borders!
3. Best Brunch: Even without Eggs Benedict, Le Notre brunch wins this one by a mile!
4. Best Pizza: La Piazza. Blue Fig has some interesting pizzas, and I hear Nino's pizzas have improved.
5. Best Kabab: Al-Hejja. Absolutely phenomenal! Go early because they usually run out of meat by 9 pm.
6. Best Shawarma: Ajami.
7. Best Falafel: Dodo
8. Best Grill: Kabab-Ji
9. Best Kunafeh: Kanafani, Taibawi
10. Best Ice-Cream: Zahra Cafe, home-made with no preservatives. For commercial cravings, Baskin & Robbins' Strawberry Cheesecake!!
11. Best Arabic Ice-Cream: For you foreigners, this is basically Arabic gelato and it's pure heaven. The best place is Bekdash.
12. Best Cakes: Zahra Cafe, Sugar & Spice, Lorenzo.
13. Best Bread: Bredz. And of course, any Iranian baker with a clay oven. Remember to take your own sesame seeds because they don't usually have them
14. Best Indian: Asha's, Bukhara, Mughal Mahal.
15. Best Italian: A tough one since none of them are really that good. Riccardo is the only one sort of close to authentic Italian but it's also the dullest, most boring restaurant in town!
16. Best Sandwich Delivery: Casper & Gambini's. Fast, delicious, and nutritious!
17. Best Coffee: I don't drink coffee but even I know that Starbucks is the McDonald's of coffee (i.e. CRAP) So I will recommend Blue Fig, Water Lemon Zahra Cafe and Second Cup.
18. Best Cheese Selection: Sultan Center at Souk Sharq.
19. Best Fish: The fishmarket at Souk Sharq. I'm a huge fan of Kuwaiti fish, in fact I think it's the best in the world!
20. Best Fruit Vendor: The one on Baghdad Street whose name I forget, next to Dodo falafel.
21. Best sandwiches for boat trips and picnics: Mr. Baker

Whew!! That was exhausting!!!

Sycophants!

Syc.o.phant -  noun:

1. A servile self-seeker who attempts to win favor by flattering influential people.
2. A base parasite; a mean or servile flatterer; especially, a flatterer of princes and great men.

The front page of today's Al-Qabas features a nauseatingly "sycophantic" full color half-page ad placed by the Commercial Real Estate Company welcoming Sheikh Sabah back from his tour of the Far East. The ad includes some text hoping for a more postive investment climate and more support for the private sector. These are points that I fully support, but they could've been expressed more tastefully in a press release rather than this undignified manner.

I've been increasingly concerned at this growing trend of taking out ads to thank or congratulate the powers that be. Not only are they undignified, but they're a collosal waste of money too since I'm also convinced that the intended recipients of this flattery are chuckling to themselves in their offices and thinking.. "Suckers!"

Untitled

There's a website for everything these days... even urinals!

12 Million Passengers?!

Al-Qabas reports that Sheikh Sabah issued a statement declaring that Kuwait International Airport will be redeveloped to be able to receive 12 million passengers per year. Does this mean the ludicrous land fees that sent many major airlines away from Kuwait will be reduced? Are these 12 million visitors to Kuwait or transit passengers? And how about those ugly pink signs dotting the terminals? No more of those please!!

Has anyone been to the makeshift "business lounge" (if one can call it that) at Kuwait Airport? It's run by a company I've never heard of before and the less said about it, the better!

Street Talk

Have you ever had a thought in your head or made some comment to yourself, and then opened the papers the same day to find a columnist basically expressing your same thoughts in print?

This morning I was driving out of Hawally and onto Istiqlal Street, heading towards Shaab, to show an inspector from the Ministry of Labour where our little Hypoxi Centre is located. I had given her the address, but she had no idea where anything was. I drew a primitive map for her on a piece of paper, but she still didn't understand where to go. I finally gave up and asked her to just follow me there. Bear in mind, that she goes on regular inspections as part of her job and yet she had no clue how to get from A to B!! While I was driving, I suddenly realized why she was so lost. Istiqlal Street had been renamed Issa Bin Salman Al-Khalifa Street, after the late diminutive ruler of Bahrain whose mouthful of a name belied his size... I silently cursed the ass-kissing sycophants who ordered this ridiculous renaming of a street that once had a proud name - it doesn't get any better than "Istiqlal" (Independence), you idiots! - and wondered why in the world they couldn't have named a new street in a new part of the country after him.

When I got to the office, I opened Al-Qabas and found Ali Al-Baghli making the same complaint about the exact same street! He called Kuwait the only country that changes street names like people change clothes, and lamented the lack of respect for streets whose names are part of our vocabulary and history.

In the end it doesn't matter though, since I defy anyone living here to give an address to a Kuwaiti for any place without having to give turn-by-turn directions (i.e. turn left at the Co-op, and then right at the mosque, then 2 speedbumps later turn right at the school). I know several people (mostly spoiled rich girls, coincidentally) who have no idea what their own street address is. They just know how to get there!

iPod Nation

Newsweek's cover story is all about the iPod, and how it has changed the way we listen to music.

Does this mean it's no longer "cool"? ;-P

Playlist July 17-24

This past week I spent some time on iTunes UK legally downloading some oldies as varied as Little Feat, Human League, James Taylor, Donna Summer and some new stuff like Zero 7 and Jamie Cullum's amazing jazzy version of Pharrell's Frontin'

Otherwise, the only CD I've added to my car player is one I bought in December and then lost and found again a few weeks. Former surfer dude Jack Johnson's On and On is such a cool and mellow record. I actually played it in the middle of a nasty traffic jam, and it had such a calming effect. Everything was alright with the world!
 
But let me tell you about some recent over-hyped releases that left me distinctly unimpressed:

1. Franz Ferdinand: An arty version of The Strokes. Reeking of pretension.
2. The Zutons - Who Killed the Zutons? A couple of good songs here, otherwise it's the type of band that makes music critics wet their pants.

Javascript Problem

Calling all geeks!! I need your help! I seem to have a problem with Javascript on my browser (IE6). Whenever I'm on a regular connection, Javascript doesn't work properly on some sites (most recently the new Blogger interface), but when I activate a proxy connection it works fine! So now I can see the spiffy new buttons that Blogger just added to make our blogs even cooler.
 
For months, I silently cursed Bill Gates and Microsoft for a crappy browser, and waited in vain for a fix or an update or IE7, when all along it was a proxy issue.
 
Still doesn't make sense to me, so I would appreciate some input here
 
Thanks

What the @#$%?!

I tried to post something now, but all the control buttons for adding links formatting and reviewing disappeared from Blogger. What gives?!

Bureaucracy = Organized Torture

Ahmed Al-Rubei has a few words for Sheikh Sabah and his entourage for when they return from their "excellent adventure" around East Asia. He urges them to take a tour around Kuwait's ministries and government departments to get a first-hand look at the daily ritual humiliations dished out to the poor souls, Kuwaitis and foreigners alike, who have any sort of business to attend to.

Back when Kuwait was a fledgling nation with no real experience in government management, we had to look to other Arab countries for their "expertise", and we ended up importing all the rotten bureaucracy, red tape, and paper-pushing and every possible procedure created to further ruin the already wretched lives of Arabs across the Middle East, paving the way for institutionalized corruption on an unprecendented scale.

Al-Rubei says now that we're a rich country in which the private sector has made great advances in management and where we have access to the world's best management consultants, we simply have no excuse for the continuation of this sad state of affairs... Unless, of course, "someone" is benefiting from the corrupt status quo and is happy keeping things just the way they are!

House-sitting for Martha

Martha Stewart got a five months prison term today, for lying about her sale of ImClone stock.

My question is: Will her prison term begin right away or will it start after the end of the summer social season in the Hamptons? I'll gladly look after her big house while she's away!!

I didn't mention this in my postings from New York, but I was fortunate to spend a weekend in East Hampton with some friends who have a summer share (a concept I never understood until I went). I was amazed by the sheer beauty of the place; so green, so lush... and so expensive!! All those incredible houses - including Martha's - on the beach. I liked Sag Harbour too!

Thursday Night Haiku

Thursday night
Scorching hot
What do you want from me?!

Are you tired?

Are you tired? Click here. Then read this.

RKFM - Kuwait's Not-So-Super-Station

Well I had to turn my guns at RKFM eventually. How could I not when they're such an easy target? But let me start with their good points, so I'm not accused of being nasty and because - believe it or not - they're not THAT bad..

Their biggest strength lies in the sheer variety of genres that they play throughout the day. In the US, for example, FM radio stations have become so segmented that you can't possibly convince a station manager to deviate from the a playlist dictated by some marketing executive in another state. RKFM still has a free-wheeling spirit even if it's not to everyone's taste. It would be unthinkable in the US to have one station that played Madonna, Jay-Z, Metallica, Britney, Coldplay, Linkin Park and the Dixie Chicks in the course of one day. Back in the dark ages when Kuwait's FM service consisted of looped tapes repeated ad nauseam, we used to crave Dubai and Bahrain's FM services which came in when the wind blew from the south (It was disgustingly humid outside, but hey we had better music!) Nowadays, Dubai FM has the noise, the flash and the requisite loud and obnoxious British DJ's from "oop north", but their playlist is downright awful (All Atomic Kitten All Day!) and as rigid as any heavily segmented US station. Bahrain FM is now just dull.

Strangely enough, RKFM is at it's best when there are no DJs around. The music selection is so varied that you keep wondering what's coming on next, and there are always some pleasant surprises. The only downside is not knowing what the hell you're listening to. The nightly shows at 10 pm are all excellent, but I worry that they might be on too late (am I right?) Having said that, will someone please explain why it is that on Fridays RKFM turns into an easy-listening nightmare with nothing but sentimental schlock? ON THE WEEKEND?!

With the compliments out of the way - lets focus on RKFM's cast of characters (the ones I occasionally listen to, anyway):

1. Linda: Sweet, perky, over-enthusiastic Linda. How anyone can be that lively at the crack of dawn is beyond me.. I don't know how much input she has with her playlists, but sometimes her show is really good and other times it's too painfully awful. I also feel sorry for her having to shill for Al-Babtain nonstop for the past 3 months; I'm sure she's sick of hearing herself go on and on and on about the new Altima. Linda has a weakness for kiddie anthems like "Witchdoctor" and crappy theme songs from crappy movies that were hits years ago for 5 seconds and now sound as stale as week-old bread. And is it me, or does her Monday country hour always have the same songs every week? I'm sure the Dixie Chicks have other hits besides "Goodbye Earl" and why hasn't she yet played anything from Loretta Lynn's new album produced by Jack White from the White Stripes?! Overall, she does a good job. She's like a jolt of caffeine in the morning when it's needed the most.

2. Vicky: Vicky has the best show on RKFM. She's lively and entertaining and her playlist rocks by way of its sheer diversity. Now if she would just cut down the female "jack the lad" (ladette?) routine, she'd be perfect.

3. Stephanie (aka Dr. Labouche): First of all, what kind of dumbass name is Dr. Labouche?! For you non-French speakers, it means "Dr. Mouth" and boy does she have a mouth on her! I don't care if she's alluding to her Louisiana roots (she's from Britney Spears's hometown! It's true!) it's stupid and must be discontinued immediately! Also, with the untimely death of the lead singer of one-hit disco wonders "La Bouche", you'd think it would be in good taste to drop that name. Stephanie talks too much and says nothing of interest or value. She laughs at her own jokes (if you can call them that) and talks like a teenager even though she's married with kids. Aside from her chart rundown, there's no chance of hearing anything remotely interesting on her show and that's where your CD players come in.. Read her bio on the website. It's fascinating!

4. M-Star: Get back to the studio and spin your usually excellent playlist. Don't go to Virgin Megastore and chat up strangers, and don't take any phone calls from breathy 10-year-old girls. It makes you sound like a pedophile!

I can't remember the other DJs' names, so please fill me in.

I could go on and on about RKFM, there's so much to say. For example, when they "relaunched" it earlier this year (did anyone notice any difference besides the RKFM moniker? Didn't think so).. The recorded promos kept harping on about its "new image". Well that's all just fine and dandy, but how can a RADIO station have a new IMAGE that nobody can SEE?!!

Finally, what's with the cheap and hideous website?!

8,000 bloggers born every day!

8,000 bloggers are born every day according to the article.. 360,000 people per year allegedly receive subpoenas as a result of their blogging. 1,080,000 bloggers annually piss off their loved ones and acquaintances!

Bloggers Suffer Burnout!

I bet you've read this article already..

I remember how burned out I was last year after blogging through the war, back when this blog was called "Live from Kuwait". When it was all over I kept on blogging for a bit, then threw in the towel because I couldn't take the pressure anymore. It got to the point where people from all over the workd were hanging on my every word as if I were the ultimate authority on Kuwait and/or Iraq. You can take a stroll through the archives to read my output from that turbulent period. Sadly, through some technical screw-up I accidentally deleted all the comments that I received for my various postings. Some were priceless!

After a year off from blogging, I decided to revive it again with a different look, title and objective. Also, Blogger is so much more user friendly now whereas before it was a huge pain in the ass!

But rest assured, I haven't yet reached burnout stage since I'm not too busy at work these days (bored in fact) and therefore have lots of time on my hands to keep on bloggin'. And your comments aren't yet keeping me up at night, so keep 'em coming!

By the way, I really appreciate all the comments I've been getting; they keep my motivation running so I can continue to write, so spread the word among your friends! I'd also like some comments on the weekly music playlists, though. Do you like my choices and recommendations? Do you have suggestions of your own? TELL ME!!

One more thing, I do NOT censor any of the comments on my blog but you are all free to delete your own comments if you've posted something you wish you hadn't!

Coming Soon - Highway Ambulance Centres

Better late than never, I suppose... I read today that 4 highway ambulance and rescue centres are going to be built on Kuwait's major highways. With the alarming highway accident rate, and the way most of us drive, this has been a long time coming.

And not to quibble... you'd think a rich country like Kuwait would be able to easily spend the money required for projects like this, and not rely on the private sector to "bail them out"!

Suddenly those Porsche Cayenne patrol cars are starting to make sense ;-)

Spoiled Cops

Shock! Horror! Kuwait's police force will be getting specially outfitted Porsche Cayenne SUVs to carry out their patrols. This reeks of corruption and cronyism, and you know very well whose pockets were lined by this deal.

And they've made an already ugly car even uglier, so I'm not too upset about them desecrating it. Now if it was a VW Touareg, I would go ballistic!

I Love a Good Fight!

I love a good fight as much as the next guy, but I'm appalled at this disgusting show of tribalism at its worst. This fight broke out last night between 2 rival factions (i.e. tribes) at the general assembly of Jahra Sports Club.



Several people were injured and reports say that the fight went on, despite police intervention, for over half an hour!! I think the novelty and excitement would've worn off after 5 minutes!

But I suppose this is what you get when tribalism is so entrenched in Kuwaiti society.. AND IT AIN'T GETTING BETTER ANYTIME SOON!!

For the full monty, Al-Qabas has 2-page "pictorial" on pages 42-43

Phallic* Architecture

"Phallic Architecture" usually views tall skyscrapers as phallic symbols, even spawning an anti-phallic architectural movement in this example.



In Kuwait, the phallic concept has been taken a few steps further by this unheralded phallic structure attached to The Kuwait Port Authority headquarters' multi-story car park, which actually includes a pair of testicles (balls!) to complete the structure and thus robbing it of any "symbolism". Who knows what inspired the architect at the time? I guess it functions as a stairwell, even though I shudder at the thought of climbing up the inside of a huge concrete penis!

Come to think of it.. those Kuwait Towers suddenly look pretty phallic too, don't you think?

Many thanks to Mama Fusla for providing me with the photo

*phallic, [fal-ik], adjective: of, relating to, or resembling a penis

Kuwait does Asia

The Prime Minister and a large assortment of ministers, businessmen, hangers-on and flunkies are on a tour of China, Hong Kong, Korea and Japan (Singapore too?), a long-overdue trip aimed at strengthening economic and political ties to those countries.

Here's a choice quote from Sheikh Mohamed Abdullah Mubarak Al-Sabah: "Corruption in Hong Kong is very low and we should learn from that".

I just can't comment any further..

Playlist July 10-16

I can't get enough of Mylo's Destroy Rock & Roll which I recommended last week.. I mistakenly called it a chill-out album, but in fact it's a highly original stomping dance record. The two standout tracks are "In my arms", which cross-samples 80's bubblegum hit "Waiting for a Star to Fall" with the opening keyboards of "Bette Davis Eyes", and "Need You Tonite" which samples the long-forgotten 1979 hit "Stay with me till dawn" by Judie Tzuke, and prompted me to track down the original to download it.

Other stuff in my car this week:

1. Sweetback - Stage 2: Sade's backing band keeping themselves busy in between their leader's albums. This is their second release and it's a very accomplished collection, with alternating lead vocals by Chocolate Genius and Aya (no idea who they are). The best tracks are all Aya's, especially "Lover", the most beautiful song you'll hear this summer and "Things You'll Never Know" a breezy pop confection!
2. Bebel Gilberto: Smooth, gorgeous Brazilian bossa nova.. Perfect for lazy summer afternoons (it works with air-conditioning too if it gets unbearably hot).
3. Angie Stone - Stone Love: Angie can do no wrong, as far as I'm concerned. Nuff said!

And of course, Keane will remain lodged in my CD player until I get sick of them, which doesn't seem likely. They're perfect for singing along to while dashing down the highway, or in my case belting out the choruses in the privacy of my car with my godawful voice!

Metronaps!

Metronaps operates mid-day rest facilities in Manhattan - places to power nap. Using the MetroNaps method, they claim you'll be recharged and refreshed in just 20 minutes.

Now in a country where the post-heavy lunch afternoon nap is more sacred than getting work done, I wonder if this concept would take off here ;-)

And moving on to.... Saint Tropez!

An article titled "Saint Tropez Babylon" in July's Vanity Fair magazine (with that loser David Beckham on the cover) describes, in gory detail, the escapades and exploits of the rich and famous in that otherwise gorgeous little French village. Among the many stories/anecdotes is one about someone claiming to be "The Crown Prince of Kuwait":

That same summer, the Crown Prince of Kuwait, who travels with an entourage of 60, squared off against two Pakistani brothers. 'The Kuwaiti sent a bottle to the Pakistani table,' recalls Aram Sabet, a friend of the prince's and co-owner of the Hamptons restaurant Pacific East. 'They sent him back a jeroboam [two magnums] of Dom Perignon. Then a jeroboam of Cristal. Then two jeroboams. It goes from two to four to six to 12, at, like, $75,000 apiece.' That night, the two .Pakistani brothers set the record for spending in Saint-Tropez for one night: 390,000 euros, nearly half a million dollars. They routinely drop $150,000 a night."

And here's the email I sent to Vanity Fair in response:

The Crown Prince of Kuwait is over 70 years old and in very poor health and, therefore, in no shape to participate in the nightly debaucheries at Les Caves du Roy. He is also sensible and classy enough not to take part in vulgar champagne one-upmanship with the spoiled offspring of arms dealers. Whoever it was in your article that claimed to be the Crown Prince of Kuwait is either a junior member of the Al-Sabah family, or - GASP! - an impostor.

Les Caves du Roy

With that out of the way, I hope your article doesn't discourage people of taste from visiting Saint Tropez. The scenes (and people) described can be easily avoided, allowing discerning travellers to enjoy the charms of a truly magical little town. Maybe I'm getting old, but give me Club 55 over Voile Rouge any day!

Club 55
La Voile Rouge

Aah.. Sweet New York

I know, it's getting boring, all this gushing about New York.. but I can't help it! I'll try to cut it down to a minimum..

Anyway, I found this surprisingly sweet article in the travel section of today's Al-Qabas about New York, describing it as the most dynamic city in the world (I'll vouch for that!), and all about how it was so crime-ridden in the 70's and 80's and how nice it is now.

It also describes how after September 11 it became an even more hospitable city, in contrast with the other unaffected American cities, and then goes on to the usual NYC charms, repeated ad nauseam in every travel magazine, all of which just happens to be so true.... SIGH!

The best surprise was its mention of Corner Bistro - a place I think only a handful of Kuwaitis would like, and I'm one of them!

Kill Bill Redux

I know most of you have more sense than to go see a movie at any of the theatres around Kuwait, even though some of the theatres are really nice and have state-of-the-art sound and projection, with the most comfortable chairs around. It's sad because most of the movies shown are butchered beyond recogintion by the censors, and you find yourself suppressing the urge to scream obscenities at the screen. I know my blood pressure goes up everytime I go, so I keep my visits to a minimum and only go to see "safe" movies, if at all.

But one easy way to find out how much has been hacked off a movie you're about to see - and save yourself any disappointing surprises - is to first go to the KNCC website to look up the movie's running time (length), then go to the Internet Movie Database, look up that same movie and compare running times. If the difference is more than one minute, stay at home and wait for the DVD. You may think a minute isn't much, but trust me it is..



That said, Kill Bill Vol.2 - which is showing this weekend - is originally 136 minutes long. The KNCC website says it's only 112 minutes. So that is TWENTY FOUR F$@%&#G MINUTES MISSING!!!

WHY BOTHER SHOWING IT?

The DVD is out on August 10th, so I suggest you wait..

Arab Women - Out of the Shadows

I found this very interesting article on The Economist's website. For the first time in ages, it's not all doom and gloom and talks about some interesting developments for women across the Arab world.

This bit about Kuwait sounded bizarre, however:

In Kuwait, too, religion is being used to push reform. Five years ago, Islamists in the country's parliament blocked a law that would have granted women the right to vote and run for office. The same law is being tabled again this year, but this time several Islamist MPs have defected to the liberals. One reason is a fatwa recently issued by a prominent cleric, which questions the reliability of the source who, 14 centuries ago, reported the Prophet Muhammad as saying "A nation commanded by woman will not prosper".

I remember reading about the fatwa, but I honestly don't recall - nor can I imagine - any of our Islamist MPs coming to their senses that quickly or anytime soon!

piPod

Not that I don't know my way to a slice of pizza perfection in New York City... but damn, this would've been cool to have on my iPod while I was there!!

Top 10 things overheard at Saddam's court appearance

This will be my only comment on Saddam Hussein's "Trial of the Century", courtesy of David Letterman's Top Ten List

10. If the mustache don't fit, you must acquit.
9. Rather than 'murderous dictator, ' I'd prefer 'genocidal maniac'.
8. Is it me or is Saddam just the most adorable thing you've ever seen?
7. He's obviously had a queer makeover.
6. If you wanted a lawyer, Mr. Hussein, maybe you should've thought about that before you had them all killed!
5. You think prison scares me? I lived in a damn spider-hole!
4. I'll be released as soon as Kerry takes over!
3. Wow, Saddam sort of looks like Robert Wagner.
2. Saddam is the most evil man the world has ever known - - not counting Dick Cheney
1. That's cute - - out of habit, Courtney Love showed up

Imagine this here..

I got this news item from Al-Qabas, and it's attributed to Reuters but I couldn't find it on their site...

Dubai International Airport, ever mindful of its millions of passengers' well-being, has just installed a live folklore band from Equador to play soothing music between 10 pm and 4 am, the hours when passengers' nerves are at their most frayed.

Now, close your eyes and imagine Kuwait International Airport innocently attempting a similar effort. All hell would break loose in parliament as one Islamist MP after the other calls for the resignation of the airport manager for allowing such a "desecration of our traditions and values". And they wouldn't be talking about the ugly pink signs dotting the terminal either!!

Playlist July 3-9 2004

How about we start a weekly tradition here on Kuwait Unplugged? Starting today I will post a short list of what's playing on my car's CD player. I have an iPod too, but listening to it in the car doesn't pack the same punch or clarity as the CD. The playlist will also serve as an alternative source of music recommendations beyond the pathetic collection at Virgin Megastore, or what gets played on 99.7.

So.. here we go with this week's list:

1. Keane - Hopes and Fears: Soaring vocals. Killer melodies. Goosebumps. Essential!
2. Scissor Sisters: High camp cover of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" gives way to some surprisingly solid songs in a variety of styles. I hear their live performances are the stuff of legend.
3. Mylo - Destroy Rock & Roll: A funky, quirky chill-out CD. "Scotland's answer to Royksopp"
4. Snow Patrol - Final Straw: Moody rock. "Spitting Games" is my favorite track here.
5. Deepest Blue: Light melodic electronic pop. Totally mindless and pleasant.

Fahrenheit 9/11.. Here? In Kuwait?!

Well I hate to eat my words (even though I do that a lot), but it seems that a trailer for Fahrenheit 9/11 was playing yesterday at the Marina Mall cinema.

Whethere you agree with the movie or not, I honestly can't see it playing here in its entirety, and someone should get hold of Michael Moore to tell him his movie is about to be butchered by Kuwaiti censors!

Close Call

Apparently, Ahmed Al-Diyain was so overwhelmed by the support he got from friends and fellow columnists, that he has decided to call off his self-imposed hiatus from his daily column. Very rightly, he says he will continue to write and if anyone has a problem with his columns, they can take him to court!

Good for us, his readers, and good for Kuwait!!

Critics... Who needs 'em?!

It is with great sadness that I read today's farewell column by Ahmed Al-Diyain in Rai Al-Aam. In apparent bullying by our esteemed leadership the fiery columnist was asked by his usually supportive editors to tone down the tough rhetoric against the government's latest assaults on the constitution. So instead of bowing down to pressure, he will simply stop writing for Rai Al-Aam and hopefully find another outlet for his writings. I hear a website is in the works.

It is outrageous and unacceptable for our leaders to ask the press to control their columnists just because they can't stand the criticism, when the easier route and the most logical would be for them to simply clean up their acts and not give the columnists anything to criticize!!

GIVE THEM HELL!!

In addition to this being the first attempt at a bilingual post, this is also the scathing editorial column by Abdul-Latif Al-Duaij (my favorite columnist) that shocked Kuwait last week while I was away. I've linked to it, but it's so good I felt I had to publish it on my blog in its entirety. The number 13 is an obvious snarky reference to the 13 guidelines imposed on musical events. Or it could refer to Kuwait's continuing streak of bad luck in government.. The list outlines 13 criteria for patriotism, as defined by our esteemed leadership. It amazes me that here we are in 2004, blatantly rolling back every reform our government ever made during its brief shining period of enlightenment. All this while the eyes of the world are on this region!

Thanks to Brian at Spartacus for his Arabic formatting tips, now if only I could get a better looking Arabic screen font.

شروط الشيخ صباح الوطنية .. أيضا 13

عبد اللطيف الدعيج

1- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تمتنع مثل عيال عم الشيخ سلمان عن التصويت على دستور البلاد مثل ما فعلوا عام 1962 ويمكن الى الحين.

2- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تحجب الثقة عن حكومة الساسة والخبرة وتقبل بحكومة كبار الموظفين كما فعلوا عام 1964.

3- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تحاصر المعارضة وتنتهك مواد الدستور وتجبر القوة الحية في المجلس على الاستقالة بعد حين.

4- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تغرق البلاد بالسكان وتخلق مشكلة ?البدون? ومن ثم تزوّر ارادة الامة لصالح المتردية والنطيحة من الموالين.

5- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تتلاعب بالجداول الانتخابية وتسهِّل نقل الاصوات للإمعة والتابعين.

6- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تحل مجلس الامة وتعلق الدستور وتصادر الحريات التي كفلها الدستور منذ سنين.

7- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تسهل عمل الارهاب والتزمت الديني كما فعل ع.ع.ش.س. منذ ثلاثين سنة وحتى الان، ولا تنس ان تعطي الخيط والمخيط للمتطرفين.

8- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تتبنى بيع الاجل الاسلامي وتخلق ازمة المناخ وتحكم شعبا من المفلسين.

9- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تلغي التقسيم العشري للدوائر الانتخابية الذي اقره المجلس التأسيسي وتفوض قوى المخابرات امر تحويل الدوائر الى خمس وعشرين.

10- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تحل مجلس الامة كل عشر سنين.

11- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تسجن خلق الله وتجلدهم لانهم طالبوا بحقوقهم الدستورية يوم الاثنين.

12- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان تضيّع البلد برقم قياسي.. ساعتين.

13- ان تكون وطنيا يعني ان ترفض تعديل الدوائر وتقبل بكل الخراب الحالي ويرضى عنك ع.ع. ش. س..

Sirens?

The sirens are blaring now. I guess they're not too thrilled that I'm back ;-)

Madonna Concert Review

Since friends have been asking about last week's concert at New York's Madison Square Garden, I might as well post a short review:

First of all, we had great seats.. The stage set was simple compared to the last tour, and relied heavily on specially shot images projected on huge screens behind Madonna and her crew (band and dancers). But somehow, a circus atmosphere prevailed through the entire show which actually made it kind of fun.



When a performer, any performer, has a large back catalogue of hits there will always be a few songs missing from a concert set list and someone will be disappointed. I could've done without a few tracks from the last album "American Life" (which I hated!) but she more than made up for them with powerful renditions of some of her best known hits. The highlight for me was "Burnin' Up" which I always felt should've been a rock song. Well she rocked alright, tore it apart with screaming guitars. Even the light pop of "Material Girl" was given a rock makeover and the result was pure pop/rock perfection.

Madonna sounded and looked fanstastic. Except for the severe thigh muscles, which were thankfully covered up later by several costume changes. She did overdo the whole Kabbalah shtick (yawn!) with a series of Hebrew scripts projected onto the screens during "Like A Prayer", and a silly t-shirt that read "Kabbalists Do It Better" during "Papa Don't Preach". I was reminded by my companions that in the original video from 1986 the t-shirt read "Italians Do It Better". Whatever..

The big surprise was a moving cover of John Lennon's immortal "Imagine", which was accompanied by images of children ravaged by war and famine around the world, and ended with quick shot of a young Palestinian boy playing with an Israeli boy. That was nice of her, I thought.

Overall, it was a fun concert with a wild and enthusiastic crowd. If you get a chance to see her in London this August, do not miss it because you never know.. it could be her last tour.

Back in Kuwait

Well my trip is over and I'm back home. As much as I love traveling, I absolutely HATE living out of a suitcase, so it's nice to be back to the comforts of home. I missed my bed, my sofa, my car and my friends. And I missed the beach, which is where I will definitely be this weekend. OK so it's unbearably hot, but so what? We're used to it.

While I was away, I deliberateley cut myself off from all Kuwaiti news, because I needed a break from the absurd nonsense that governs our daily lives here. My mother tells me that was a wise decision, since it would've just ruined the trip for me..

So I have a lot of reading to catch up on, and I'll post my comments in due course. That is if I'm not rendered utterly speechless..

More from New York - The Feedback!

What have I started here?! How did a crack about sending my resume result in a "discourse" about Islam, the Al-Sabahs, Saudis..etc.?!

Anyway, I loved how "NYC Guy" and "Ibn" - which could easily be "Ibn Laden", by the way - basically analyzed my character and background. Well you got a lot of it right and a lot wrong. And no, I have NEVER worked in a government job, and wouldn't be caught dead working there. In fact, you can go back to some older posts and read about my tangles with government bureaucrats and you'll get an idea of what I think of them.. I've spent my career in banking and now in an investment company, mainly as a marketing manager.

The course at NYU was just a 2-week management course. It was an excellent program and we benefited from a different lecturer every day. I was sent on this course by the company I work for as part of my career development and training, and also as a reward for all my hard work since I joined them last year... As for Soho House, I went with a friend of mine who is a member. So there!

I'm only half joking when I say I want to live in NYC, and yet I realize how tough it can be as compared to the cushy existence we have in Kuwait; of course it's not all "Friends" or Soho House all the time!! Yet of all the cities in the world, New York makes me come alive like nowhere else and I've been smitten by it for too long so maybe it's time I "proposed" and just moved there to be near it and part of it.... I also don't want to continue doing what I am doing now - I mean how many more investment marketing guys does NYC need?! - I want to do something different with my life before it's too late since I'm not getting any younger, but I have yet to figure out what exactly I want to do.. I'm intrigued by working for the news bureaus, and maybe I'll give it a shot. God knows they can use someone like me!

And yo, NYC Guy! Who's our mutual contact in Kuwait? I have no idea who you're talking about!

I don't know if I will "burn in hell" for this or not.. but I also got to see Madonna in concert while I was in NYC! :-P

More from New York

One of the replies I got to my last post came from "Anonymous" who suggested I simply pick up and move here permanently. To that I have only one reply:

WHERE DO I SEND MY RESUME?! ;-)



Meanwhile, Michael Moore was on the roof at Soho House last night, where I was hanging with some friends. That man has a widescreen butt, fortunately it was at night so he wasn't there to tan.

Too bad I won't get to see Fahrenheit 9/11 since it comes out the day after I leave this fair city, and I highly doubt it would play in Kuwait anytime soon.. or ever!! Hitchens gave it a real thrashing in Slate, but I still want to see it.

New York, New York

Sorry I've been absent. I've been away in New York City at a management course at NYU. The course is over but I'm still here to enjoy the city before I head back home.

I've had a long-running love affair with NYC since my first visit at age 14, and for many reasons too numerous to list here. But the one thing I will mention is that at least here in NYC you don't get the sense that Americans are totally isolated from what goes on in the rest of the world. Sorry to offend any non-New Yorkers reading this, but I worry about people in the vast space beyond NYC and other big cities not getting all the news that they should. Sadly, it's a combination of news channels hungry for ratings and a total lack of interest from too many Americans.

But then I've always wondered about most populations outside urban areas anywhere in the world. I think the reason we pick on Americans for being under-informed is that, as the world's superpower, we hold them to a higher standard and we know they can do better

Discuss!!

Forces of Dark Comedy?

Who knew the Forces of Darkness in this country could also be genuinely (unintentionally) funny? Read this interview with Islamist TV scourge Dr. Mohamed Al-Awadi and share his views on Star Academy and other imported evils from the degenerate West.

For the full audio-visual effect, click on the little speaker icon near the title(Windows Media Player required).

Posting in Arabic

As you can see below, the typeface is awful and the alignment is all wrong. So until I learn how to fix it, I will continue to post in English.

Any tips would be very welcome!

ندوة الصانع

هذه أول تجربة لنشر تعليقاتي باللغة العربية، فرجاءً "طولوا بالكم"..

لم أجد أي تغطية لندوة النائب د. ناصر الصانع التي أقيمت مساء أمس في صحف اليوم (ولا حتى في جريدة الوطن!) سوى هذا الخبر القصير في القبس. لعل التفاصيل آتية غداً؟

Rally Against Liberties

Far be it for the forces of darkness to let those heathen immoral liberals have the last word, tonight Dr. Nasser Al-Sane' (my MP, I'm embarrassed to add) hosts a seminar to counter last week's liberal slug-fest.

Aside from the usual diatribes against the decline in morals, it should be interesting to hear what editor-in-chief of Al-Watan, Mohammed Abdul-Qader Al-Jassem will have to say in his speech tonight. After all, this is the man who had the guts to tell Sheikh Khaled Al-Mathkoor - a widely respected religious authority - to his face, on live TV, that Kuwait was never a religious country, and that even in the old days there were those who frequented mosques and those who were regulars at the bars and whorehouses that flourished back then, when true Kuwaitis believed in "live and let live".

Everyone knows this to be true, of course.. but it's just never talked about as part of Kuwait's rather colorful "unofficial" history. So you can imagine the sheikh's face going white on live TV!

Secular Illusions

I don't know if I should be consoled that it's not just us here in Kuwait suffocating under "religious correctness".. If the world's sole superpower can't keep it's own Christian fundamentalists in check then there's no hope for anyone who believes that religion and politics make a deadly mix, and should be kept as far apart as possible. This article in Slate addresses the American version of our own dilemma, and a review of the book shown above.

There goes the neighborhood..

This rather disturbing article reminds all Kuwaitis that the euphoria following the end of the war in Iraq and the capture of Saddam Hussein does not mean we will have peace and stability just yet. There is a real danger of all the trouble and violence in Iraq spilling over to Kuwait.

So I propose the following: Tie Kuwait to huge chains linked to massive ships and pull Kuwait away from this rotten neighborhood and settle it somewhere peaceful in the middle of the ocean. We've had nothing but grief from our neighbors and it's time we found new ones ;-)

The Day After Tomorrow - WORLD PREMIERE!!

How cool is it that environmental disaster flick The Day After Tomorrow opens here in Kuwait on Wednesday May 26 , before the rest of the world?!

Are we going to be a major movie market soon, with Hollywood stars flying into Kuwait for a red carpet premiere? Not if "El Gringo Tabtabaeio" has anything to say about it. And besides, a movie premiere at a shopping mall multiplex just doesn't quite work ;-P

IT'S THE CONSTITUTION, STUPID!!

I didn't have time to post this yesterday, but Abdul-Latif Al-Duaij kicked some "wimpy liberal" ass in his column, by demanding to know why the speakers at last week's rally at the Graduate Society insisted on explaining to the forces of darkness, and almost pleading with them that they were just as conservative and traditional as anyone, and that the thousands who attended the recent Star Academy show were all good people out to have a simple innocent night out.

Al-Duaij says that our liberals just don't get it... IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS IF YOU WANT TO GO TO A CONCERT!! The right to free expression and enjoyment of the arts is guaranteed and protected by Kuwait's constitution.

That's how the liberals should respond to the Islamist assault on personal liberties... by telling them to take their stupid laws and shove them where the sun don't shine!

Say Goodbye to your Liberties!

Ali Al-Baghli in today's Al-Qabas takes the government to task for passing outrageously offensive assaults on our personal liberties in the form of ridiculous laws that will be with us forever, all in the name of protecting some of its ministers who aren't going to be around for long. When the ministers' terms are up or if they pass away, these laws that were passed to protect them will still be in effect.

Does anyone care? Probably not... I swear it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes!

Tabtabaei's Latest Salvo

THE MAN IS A DELUDED IDIOT!! And what the hell was he doing in Cancun anyway? Read his latest outrage!

Great Weekend

Wasn't it just perfect this last weekend? Calm seas, cool breeze at night... If Kuwait maintained this temperature all summer, it would be heaven!

Mobile Blogging

So that's what Moblogging means. Silly me. Click on the link at the bottom of my Cool Blogs list Moblogging from Kuwait for an example.

By the way, it isn't my site but will someone please tell its owner that his fascination with junk food is very disturbing. I recommend reading "Fast Food Nation" and I swear you'll never set foot in a fast food joint again!

Must read..

While I'm still trying to figure out how to post in Arabic and get all the paragraphs properly aligned to the right, please read this article (in Arabic) from Dr. Ahmed Al-Rubei, who gave a fiery speech last night at the rally.

It's more or less the same points he spoke about last night.

More on the Rally..

Now that I've slept on the issue and had time to replay the newsreel in my head overnight, here are a few more observations from last night's rally:

1. Every one of the speakers mentioned the segregation of Kuwait University as a landmark in the path to inevitable destruction that the Islamists are leading this country. To them I say: Where the $%&@ were you when that law was passed?! How could you possibly roll over and let them walk all over you?! And where the hell were the students themselves? Shouldn't they have been demonstrating against this grave assault on their livelihoods?! I keep having romantic visions of the student revolts of Paris 1968, and wishing something like that could happen here... sigh.

2. I'm a huge fan of the writer and poet Dr. Khalifa Al-Wegayan, and the poem that he wrote in 1984 and read out to us was so prescient of today's crisis situation. The second poem that he read should be scanned, photocopied, faxed, emailed and slipped under the doors of every Islamist around the world!

3. Many of the speakers very rightly criticized the supposedly liberal MPs - THAT'S YOU IN THE FRONT ROW, MOHAMMED AL-SAGER!! - for their inexcusable silence and lack of any counter intitiative against the relentless assaults on personal liberties.

4. All the speakers insisted that this wasn't just about the right to attend musical concerts (to all you readers outside Kuwait, I'm embarrassed just typing this!), and yet you can't help think that this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

5. As a founding - and sadly inactive - member of the National Democratic Movement, I pledge now in front of God and all of you to take a more active role in future.

6. Where the hell was MadM2000? Did anyone see him? I'm waiting for his take on the rally

The Rally for Freedom

Well it was more of a collection of speeches and a call to arms at the Graduate Society. It got off to a creaky start with the barely audible society's president, followed by a rousing and funny speech by Khaled Al-Mutairi, president of the National Democratic Alliance - of which I'm a proud charter member - followed by several speakers, some emotional and powerful, others less so.

The issue at stake is the relentless assault on our personal liberties by the fundamentalist Islamist nutjobs in collusion with our cowardly government that's been appeasing them for decades. And yet, I couldn't help wishing it was held in some other venue. One the main problems plaguing Kuwait's progressive liberals - and one they're not willing to confront - is that the great masses of the general public still view them as an elitist crowd that does not speak for them. This huge untapped silent majority may not like what the Islamists are doing to this country but they also don't feel that the Kuwaiti liberals speak for them either.

Today's rally was, in effect, "preaching to the converted" and was very cathartic for all of us. But what happens next? The Islamists are so organized, and they use fear tactics to gain followers (support us or burn in hell!), I fear people like me just don't stand a chance. But I refuse to give up. This is a fight worth fighting and I plan to make life hell for as many of them as I possibly can.

By the way, I didn't see MadM2000 there, mainly because I still don't know what he looks like

Kuwaiti women get their full political rights!

Yeah yeah.. whatever.. I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to fall for that government scam!

Kuwait's shameful exclusion of women from the political process has been an international embarrassment for so long, that it's almost ceased to matter. And yet our esteemed government suddenly saw fit to revive the issue even though it has no serious intention to support it.

And what a coincidence that it put forward this controversial issue right at the time when conscious free-thinking Kuwaitis are starting to agitate against the increasing influence of the predatory Islamist lunatics, the govermnent's pets. It's so obvious even to the casual observer that there's a nasty "quid pro quo" going here, where Islamists agree to drop their questioning of the Minister of Information in exchange for accepting women's political rights. Right.. OVER THEIR DEAD BODIES!

And for anyone living in a cave for the past few weeks (and those of you who live outside Kuwait), what do you think the Minister of Dis-Information is being questioned for? Why, the Star Academy concert of course!

This is too much embarrassment for one day.. I have to go lie down.

SEE YOU AT THE RALLY AT 7 PM

New Look

How do you like the new look? Nice, no? One of the reasons I've been so slow in updating the blog is that many of the features (behind the scenes!) were a pain in the ass to manage. Now Blogger have completely updated their management tools and its now so much easier - and faster - to post stuff.

So no more excuses from now on, I promise!

The Genius of MadM2000

By now most of you are familiar with underground cartoonist MadM2000 and his outrageous, totally subversive work. I first became familiar with him through his parodies of Kuwait's popular hangouts Nino and TGIF, he then moved on to skewering Villa Moda and its customers and after that nobody was safe from his scathing cartoons and caricatures. As his cartoons become increasingly political, he has taken on a voice of hysterically funny indignation at some of the more absurd events on the Kuwaiti political landscape, especially the weekly outrages imposed on us by fundamentalist Islamist lunatics/criminals.

But all throughout his career, his identity has been known only to his immediate circle. Maybe I'm a bit behind but I still don't know who he is, and I don't really care as long as he keeps us laughing.

I've recently joined his mailing list, and now I regularly receive his hysterical cartoons as soon as he puts them out, including this one here. I urge you all to do the same by signing up to any of the following groups:

http://groups.msn.com/madm2000
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/madm2000

He says he'll be at the rally tomorrow at 6 pm. I hope I can spot him because I want to collaborate with him on a project.. a guidebook for anyone wanting to start a small business in Kuwait. I have just TODAY obtained a commercial license that I applied for in August 2003, after suffering untold humiliations and outrageous demands by government bureacrats. I've decided to catalogue these abuses in an illustrated guidebook and I think MadM2000 is the best man for the job.

What do you think? Post your comments below.

Film deal for 'Baghdad Blogger'

Congratulations are in order for Salam Pax, also known as the Baghdad Blogger who just signed a film deal based on his online diary. "He's like a Nick Hornby in the middle of a war," Scott Kroopf, chairman of the Intermedia's film division, told film industry website ScreenDaily.com.

As a huge Nick Hornby fan myself, I can say that this is indeed a great compliment, and the movie itself could be quite entertaining.

THIS TIME IT'S WAR!

And no I'm not talking about the situation in Iraq, but our own cultural war with the forces of darkness, the evil fundamemtalist lunatics who have hijacked Islam and distorted it beyond recognition to serve their own corrupt agenda, and held Kuwait hostage for the past 30 years while our esteemed leaders looked on approvingly.

"What the hell were they thinking?!" I hear you cry.. As far as our leaders were concerned, any liberal progressive movement was regarded a threat to their existence and so support was directed to the Islamist movements who have, in turn, slowly suffocated this country and are directly responsible for the state of decline that we're in now. Little did our short-sighted leaders realize that all the liberal progressives ever wanted was to adhere to Kuwait's constitution. Apparently, our leaders have always felt that the constitution was a thorn in their side and wished it never existed - as evidenced by the continuous assaults on the constitution both by the leaders and from their Islamist allies.

Well our leaders seem to have finally woken up - way too late if you ask me - to the fact that it is precisely their Islamist friends that want to overthrow them and assume the rulership of Kuwait. It is the Islamists that pose the greater threat to their existence, more than the liberals ever did.

There will be a rally at the Graduates Society on Tuesday May 18 at 7 pm to demonstrate against the latest assaults on our freedoms from the Islamists who now want to regulate all musical events in Kuwait with a long list of demands too ridiculous to mention here, but can be found in most Kuwaiti papers.

It's kind of sad that it took something as trivial as music concerts to finally wake everyone up to the homegrown menace that has been eating away at the constitution and at our civil liberties for years. Where was this outrage when Kuwait University was ordered to segregate its classes for boys and girls?

Still, better late than never I suppose... I urge you all to attend this rally and put your feet down and make your voice heard in defense of Kuwait!

GUYS!! Lose That Spare Tyre Around Your Stomach!

Hypoxi Kuwait will open its men's facility at Club Elite at JW Marriott, so now men can also benefit from its unique therapy. VACUNAUT is a unique revolutionary alternative method combining vacuum therapy and gentle exercise to target fat burn in the abdominal area.

An initial consultation with our on-site therapist is recommended to determine the number of sessions you will require, based on your weight and your body-fat measurements. The sessions are taken in courses and are priced as follows:

12 session course KD 175
18 session course KD 250
24 session course KD 325

Club Elite members are entitled to a 10% discount on all courses.

To book your appointment, you can call the central booking number on 264-0419. Alternatively, you can stop by Club Elite at the JW Marriott - 15th floor - for a consultation with our on-site therapist and plan your required sessions.

There will be only one Vacunaut machine (for now) at the club, so hurry and book soon!

How low can you go?

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse at our esteemed Parliament, or National Assembly, or whatever the hell it's called these days... we've hit an all-time low with one of our shadier MPs losing his temper and throwing a glass of water at another MP. Don't believe me? Take a look

The Clown Wins!

As expected.. Arab audiences across the Middle East, in keeping with tradition, decided to vote for the clown over the truly talented contestant. In a dramatic, tension-filled final episode of the talent contest Star Academy Kuwait's Bashar Al-Shatti lost to Egypt's Mohamed Attiya.



Of course, Bashar never stood a chance of winning due to simple numbers: Kuwait's small population of voters vs. Egypt's endless millions. But if it was just that, we wouldn't really mind; Egyptians are just as entitled to blind nationalist favouritism as anyone else. But it's the rest of the Arab world - assuming they actually voted - who chose to play politics instead of picking a winner based on talent alone. I'm not one to believe in wild theories, and I accept the loss with an open mind, but a quick read through the silly text messages scrolling across the various music channels reveals an irrational hatred and gloating over Bashar's loss just because he's Kuwaiti.

We Kuwaitis may not be very popular among other Arabs for a variety of reasons, some of our own making, but this is ridiculous. And yet I'm sure we would be gloating if he had won. Still, most Kuwaitis are taking this loss very hard - its just the latest in a long string of losses. But to everyone, I say DO NOT DESPAIR. If everyone really hated Kuwaitis as much as you think, Bashar would NOT have made it all the way to the finals. There is no way that he got to the finals simply on Kuwait's votes.



Anyway, tonight Bashar will return to Kuwait triumphant. A new Kuwaiti star is born, with a promising musical career ahead of him. Mohamad Attiya will do a couple of silly video clips, and a really bad movie and then disappear into the seedy nightclubs of Cairo. Shame, because he seems to be a nice guy.

Vote for Bashar on Star Academy!

I can't believe I'm getting carried away with this whole Star Academy business. In the UK, Fame Academy was a tacky TV show that pitted contestants from across the UK. Here the Arabic version has taken on a whole new dimension as it becomes a show of national pride between various Arab countries. Sure, the Arab League Summit fell apart for unexplained reasons but at least Arabs are united in their love for "Star Academy"... a sad state of affairs indeed. Anyway, leaving nationalistic considerations aside.. Bashar is truly the more talented of the two remaining finalists.



As an aside, however, most people don't realize (yet!) the sense of empowerment that shows like "Star Academy" and "SuperStar" (the Arabic Pop Idol) have given Arab audiences. You see, for the first time in their lives, many Arabs of all ages, religions and genders are free to VOTE!! Yes, they are FREE to vote for whoever they like without any coercion or bribery, and no retarded Islamists or Bedouins telling them that they can't vote.

Should we look forward to a day when all Arabs can choose their leaders as freely?

A literary event

And trust me, there ain't too many of those around here! I was honored to be invited to a book launch reception for our very own Dalaa Al-Mufti (aka Dalaa Al-Sultan). She has just published her first novel titled "Hunna... Lasna Anti" or "They.. Are Not You", and the reception was held at the wonderful Qurtas Bookstore right in the middle of the old souk in downtown Kuwait City. The setting was great, and the turnout was just as good. We all got autographed copies of the book.



I will read the novel as soon as I can (hopefully this weekend!), it is supposed to be a "roman a clef", a work of fiction rooted in reality, so it has to be a great read! I urge you all (well, those of you who can read Arabic!) to buy this book now and lend your support to a burgeoning talent!

Well done Dalaa! Woo hoo!!!

The end of ski season

I would kill to be on skis right now, as the season draws to a close and the sunshine is relentless

Burn Fat at Hypoxi Center!

About that small business I mentioned in the last post.... My siblings and I have opened a new studio called Hypoxi Center. It offers a unique treatment that visibly reduces fat and cellulite in the most stubborn areas of your body such as the thighs and stomach, using a patented vacuum method. The resultant increased blood supply and circulation causes concentrated fat breakdown to take place in precisely the cellulite and fat prone areas of the hips, thighs and buttocks. The unique similtaneus activity of vacuum suction and exercise increases the supply of nutrient and oxygen rich blood to the PROBLEM ZONES speeding up metabolism and fat burning to reduce the appearance of cellulite with lasting positive results.



I could go on, but it's best you stop by for a consultation or go through the website. Sadly, our center in Shaab is a ladies-only facility. BUt we will be opening a men's facility very soon.

The phone number at Shaab is 264-0419, and yes you all need it!

I'm sorry.. I really am!

Has it been that long?? I promised to post on a more regular basis but somehow it just slipped my mind. Plus, I've been so busy the past month with work, renovating the house, opening up a small business (more on that later) and traveling to Beirut and Dubai, for both work and pleasure. March seems to be the longest month, but I like it here because the weather is so pleasant.

So yes.. I'm back for real this time :-)

Hallelujah Halliburton!!

How perfect is this strip from the ever reliable Doonesbury?! I'll be posting more..

A weird feeling..

It's that time of the year when everything is in limbo because of the shortest month of the year being riddled with holidays, like a torn shirt

On one hand we having the growing Halliburton corruption scandal, which will no doubt be swept under the rug for more pressing issues such as Hala February (gotta love the groan-inducing description!) which threatens to tear apart the very fabric of Kuwaiti society, as impressionable youngsters fall under the evil spell of commerce, art and music!!!

Now I ask you, which of the two issues is more "evil"?

Flu Season

Watch out everyone... it's out there. I'm sick with the flu and staying at home in the foulest mood EVER!!! :-(

He's Back Ladies & Gentlemen!!

And with a vengeance too! I'd had enough of blogging after the war ended (honestly, I don't know how all you bloggers out there keep up!)

I even tried my hand at a totally anonymous blog in which I could freely trash anything and anyone here in Kuwait - and God knows there are plenty of targets - but even that fizzled out. I wasn't sufficiently motivated, and I couldn't get it to work properly either and forgot how to upload pictures which made it rather dull...which is another reason I'm reviving this blog. It's already set up to function exactly the way I want it to, so why reinvent the wheel and start another one?

I stayed complacent for a while but suddenly something in me snapped and I decided that it was time I went back to writing.. perhaps to find an outlet for my frustrations.

So without further fanfare, I'm returning to the original "Live from Kuwait" blog, only this time I'm calling it "Kuwait Unplugged" (very original) and it won't have much to do with Iraq and the dismal situation over there. There are plenty of excellent bloggers in Iraq whose voices are finally being heard after years of oppression. Some of them are already listed on the left, with more to come very soon.

This blog will be totally random and irregular (i.e. I'll post whenever I feel like it), and it will contain a broad range of topics. You can see samples from the few posts that I did on the anonymous blog between May and November 2003. They're just too nasty to throw away :-P

Power Struggle Behind the Scenes

Even though Minister Abulhassan came through on the side of reason today, I'm still worried by some rumors that the previous Minister of Information (MOI) is none too pleased about relinquishing that base of power even though he's now Minister of Energy.

Apparently, being in charge of our oil industry - Kuwait's main source of revenue - isn't good enough for him. During his tenure as MOI, he hired untold numbers of unqualified cronies. He now seeks to run the MOI by remote control, and pre-empt the current minister. Case in point: Abulhassan has invited the press corps to a Ramadan dinner next week. Minister of Energy has pre-empted that dinner and invited the press corps this week. Why he wants to invite them at all is anyone's guess... but it's just petty and unbefitting for a minister to act this way.

And it gets worse.. a whispering campaign aimed at discrediting Abulhassan has already begun. And rumors are swirling around town that pen-for-hire columnist Fouad Al-Hashem, from Al-Watan, has received payment in exchange for attacking Abulhassan in his daily column.

Al-Hashem is banking on Kuwaiti readers' short memories, for while he is now lamenting the golden age of the MOI when our so called emissaries represented Kuwait in the best light... I distinctly recall him trashing them as incompetent fools a few years ago. Back then, the minister was someone else who maybe wasn't as "generous" as Sheikh Ahmad.

The Show Will Go On

Three cheers to Minister of Information, Mohamed Abulhassan, for not bowing to unwarranted pressure from Kuwait's Islamist lunatics. The Pascal Mashalani concert will go ahead on schedule. What I liked about his statement was the tough language. He not only declared that the concert would go ahead, but also warned them against wasting his and their time in future with similar complaints.

Now if someone can get us some decent musical acts...

And now it's Pascal

And they're at it again.. Kuwait's "Social Reform" Society is protesting a planned concert during Eid featuring Lebanese singer Pascal Mashalani. They're pulling the same tired excuses (traditions, POWs, etc.) to call for it's cancellation.

I have my own reasons for cancelling the concert, namely because Pascal SUCKS, but I can't accept the fundamental Islamists chokehold on our lives. The matter has been raised to the Minister of Disinformation, so lets see if he has a spine and if he has the guts to to tell them to mind their own damn business!!

Ramadan Mubarak

Just passed the first week of Ramadan (quickly, I might add) and so far it's been a flurry of social obligations plus a weekend away for Umra. My digestive system gets destroyed during Ramadan, so my next few posts will be quite ill-tempered and cranky.

You have been warned..

Mob Scene at Nino

A naive attempt to have lunch at Nino today. The parking lot was overflowing with cars all the way to the Gulf Road; it was so bad the police had to come and maintain order. Inside, the restaurant was packed with a loud young crowd enjoying their "Last Lunch" before Ramadan. Getting a table was out of the question, so we went down the road to Le Notre which was just as crowded.

The balcony at Le Notre at this time of year, is one of the most pleasant places to spend a lazy afternoon in Kuwait.... With just one little ingredient missing ;-)

Digital Camera

I guess this blog will start to get boring if I don't put any pictures on it. I will just nick them from various websites, but a blog about Kuwait won't be complete without some real digital photography of scenes in and around the country. So, I'm succumbing to the digital bug and I plan to buy a digital camera before the weekend. I've been meaning to do it for ages, but was just too lazy. My friends who know me are still surprised that I haven't bought one yet, being the tech-geek that I am :-P

The last straw - and incentive - was seeing a picture of Sheikh Sabah Al-Ahmad, the Prime Minister in today's papers wielding a digital camera and pointing it at the press corps photographers. How cool was that?! If he's got a digital camera then I want one too. NOW!

I'm still not sure what make I should get: Sony, Canon, Nikon, Pentax, HP.. Please suggest something in the comments box below.

E-Government my @#$!!!

I stopped paying attention to the annual E-Government conferences since I had the rotten experience of attending the first one in 2001. I mean, who are we kidding here? To put it simply, all the good intentions in the world won't make e-government a reality in Kuwait as long as we have thousands of government slackers - sorry, I mean employees - sitting around wasting everyone's time and getting paid for it. The system is rotten to the core and no amount of technology spending will get rid of that.

Think about it.. streamlining procedures and processes will result in more efficiency. People will not have to endure the routine humiliations of government bureaucrats, and can get things done on their PCs at their own time. The result? No use for the thousands of voting government workers, and more importantly, no one to bribe! I imagine the MPs will fight tooth and nail against this initiative to protect their constituents and their own wallets.

Still, I guess we have to appreciate progress wherever it is achieved. Today's news announcing the issuing of online building permits from the municipality is encouraging.

Emergency Music Review

This isn't a Kuwaiti music review, but since I did hear this awful song on Kuwait's SuperStation I feel compelled to comment... I had the misfortune of hearing a new duet featuring Britney Spears and Madonna... Yes, folks it's every bit as terrible as you can imagine. How could it possibly work? Teaming up Spears - a no-talent bimbo and international laughingstock whose career is almost on the skids - with Madonna on a song so wretched it can cause ears to bleed.

Oh how the mighty have fallen! I don't care what happens to Britney Spears, but I have to squirm when I see Madonna (full disclosure: I love Madonna!) reduced to duets with singers half her age in a desperate bid to remain in the spotlight. Mrs. Ritchie has hitched her wagon onto the wrong kid, as if that lip-lock at the MTV Awards wasn't enough. Her last album was boring beyond belief, compounded by a poor choice of singles and some ill-advised videos, and if this lame attempt at relevance is the best she can muster... then we should be afraid. Very afraid! It's like watching a good friend slide into drug addiction or hang out with a bad crowd.

And what of the song itself? A noisy, tuneless mess called "Me Against the Music", and I'm sorry to report everybody lost that battle!

NBK's Musical Chairs

Did anyone read the list of NBK's Watani Gifts winners in today's papers? Is it me or is it the same people and their relatives every time? They just seem to shuffle them around whenever there's a prize draw.

I smell a conspiracy!!

Kuwaiti Christians Under Attack!!

Huh?! That was my reaction too when I read this story in today's Washington Post. A Kuwaiti native called Johny Fares, a resident of a Maryland suburb, had his house vandalised by redneck thugs who scrawled "Bin Laden Lives Here" on a trailer parked in front of his house. While the story isn't all that strange especially after September 11, here's the real kicker:

"As a Roman Catholic, Fares said, he suffered discrimination in his homeland, where crosses were burned in front of his family's house. "One of the main reasons we came to the U.S. was for equal rights and freedom of religion and speech," said Fares, a state auto safety inspector."

What the fuck?! I've lived here all my life and I've never heard of anything like this happening here! There are several Kuwaiti Christian families, though last I checked "Fares" wasn't one of them. And churches of several denominations have functioned with no incident for decades. Can anyone corroborate his statement?

Needless to say, I fired off an angry email to the Washington Post accusing them of sloppy reporting. You can do the same by sending an email to Letters@washpost.com

More Shopping!

Yet another shopping centre has opened in Kuwait; this time in lovely, picturesque Sharq. On first glance of its exterior, the new Al-Rayah (or Arraya) Complex could be in downtown Houston. It's large and overbearing like most Texans. The question is do we need more shopping centres in Kuwait? And if so, why isn't Kuwait itself being marketed as the best shopping destination in the region? Answers on a postcard (kidding!) or click on the Comments below to add your 2 fils worth.

Among the designer shops set to open there is Burberry and I sincerely hope this will be a decent shop like the ones in London and New York that carry all the cool stuff, and not another copy of the pathetic store in Salmiya which resembles a duty free stand in some Southeast Asian airport.

The complex will be attached to the new Marriott Courtyard Hotel (groan!). Wow! More hotel rooms for non-existent tourists, and the chosen few who are "granted" entry visas by divine intervention. They claim to have the largest ballroom/convention center in Kuwait which I suppose is great news for conference organizers and wedding planners. And tons of parking space for a change..

Of course we'll all go check it out and satisfy our curiosity. Then promptly forget it ever existed, just like Al-Muhallab...

Security concerns

Well it seems that the play "An Evening with Gary Lineker" was cancelled for security reasons after the suicide bomb attacks in Baghdad yesterday. Nobody has come out and stated as much yet, but I'd like to think that was the reason. The Hilton resort, where the play was scheduled, is packed with Americans... so maybe they got a bit jittery.

Oh well....

An Evening with Gary Lineker..... or so we thought!!

There we were all excited about going to see a real British comedy on stage.. in Kuwait!! "An Evening with Gary Lineker", a comedy about "sex and football" was scheduled for a 2-night run at the Hilton ballroom (dinner theatre is so provincial, but why quibble?) on 14-15 October. Suddenly without any warning, the play got cancelled. Why? Because the organizers failed to get the necessary "approvals" from the Ministry of Dis-Information, heretofore known as the Ministry of Doom & Gloom, or the Ministry of Making Life Miserable!!

I knew it was too good to be true. But then stranger things have happened here.. Sometime in the early 90's, none other than Dame Edna Everage gave a performance right here in Kuwait. I went to see the show and it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. Totally raunchy and completely ruthless.. I remember wondering how on earth the show got past the "censors", but then the material must have gone right over their heads. Certainly, the Kuwaiti "embassy groupies*" - you know who you are! - missed half the jokes; they were just happy to be seen there.


*Embassy Groupies: The same crowd of Kuwaitis you see at every boring embassy function, who are really only there for the free booze. Note how they only go to the European events :-P