RKFM - Kuwait's Not-So-Super-Station

Well I had to turn my guns at RKFM eventually. How could I not when they're such an easy target? But let me start with their good points, so I'm not accused of being nasty and because - believe it or not - they're not THAT bad..

Their biggest strength lies in the sheer variety of genres that they play throughout the day. In the US, for example, FM radio stations have become so segmented that you can't possibly convince a station manager to deviate from the a playlist dictated by some marketing executive in another state. RKFM still has a free-wheeling spirit even if it's not to everyone's taste. It would be unthinkable in the US to have one station that played Madonna, Jay-Z, Metallica, Britney, Coldplay, Linkin Park and the Dixie Chicks in the course of one day. Back in the dark ages when Kuwait's FM service consisted of looped tapes repeated ad nauseam, we used to crave Dubai and Bahrain's FM services which came in when the wind blew from the south (It was disgustingly humid outside, but hey we had better music!) Nowadays, Dubai FM has the noise, the flash and the requisite loud and obnoxious British DJ's from "oop north", but their playlist is downright awful (All Atomic Kitten All Day!) and as rigid as any heavily segmented US station. Bahrain FM is now just dull.

Strangely enough, RKFM is at it's best when there are no DJs around. The music selection is so varied that you keep wondering what's coming on next, and there are always some pleasant surprises. The only downside is not knowing what the hell you're listening to. The nightly shows at 10 pm are all excellent, but I worry that they might be on too late (am I right?) Having said that, will someone please explain why it is that on Fridays RKFM turns into an easy-listening nightmare with nothing but sentimental schlock? ON THE WEEKEND?!

With the compliments out of the way - lets focus on RKFM's cast of characters (the ones I occasionally listen to, anyway):

1. Linda: Sweet, perky, over-enthusiastic Linda. How anyone can be that lively at the crack of dawn is beyond me.. I don't know how much input she has with her playlists, but sometimes her show is really good and other times it's too painfully awful. I also feel sorry for her having to shill for Al-Babtain nonstop for the past 3 months; I'm sure she's sick of hearing herself go on and on and on about the new Altima. Linda has a weakness for kiddie anthems like "Witchdoctor" and crappy theme songs from crappy movies that were hits years ago for 5 seconds and now sound as stale as week-old bread. And is it me, or does her Monday country hour always have the same songs every week? I'm sure the Dixie Chicks have other hits besides "Goodbye Earl" and why hasn't she yet played anything from Loretta Lynn's new album produced by Jack White from the White Stripes?! Overall, she does a good job. She's like a jolt of caffeine in the morning when it's needed the most.

2. Vicky: Vicky has the best show on RKFM. She's lively and entertaining and her playlist rocks by way of its sheer diversity. Now if she would just cut down the female "jack the lad" (ladette?) routine, she'd be perfect.

3. Stephanie (aka Dr. Labouche): First of all, what kind of dumbass name is Dr. Labouche?! For you non-French speakers, it means "Dr. Mouth" and boy does she have a mouth on her! I don't care if she's alluding to her Louisiana roots (she's from Britney Spears's hometown! It's true!) it's stupid and must be discontinued immediately! Also, with the untimely death of the lead singer of one-hit disco wonders "La Bouche", you'd think it would be in good taste to drop that name. Stephanie talks too much and says nothing of interest or value. She laughs at her own jokes (if you can call them that) and talks like a teenager even though she's married with kids. Aside from her chart rundown, there's no chance of hearing anything remotely interesting on her show and that's where your CD players come in.. Read her bio on the website. It's fascinating!

4. M-Star: Get back to the studio and spin your usually excellent playlist. Don't go to Virgin Megastore and chat up strangers, and don't take any phone calls from breathy 10-year-old girls. It makes you sound like a pedophile!

I can't remember the other DJs' names, so please fill me in.

I could go on and on about RKFM, there's so much to say. For example, when they "relaunched" it earlier this year (did anyone notice any difference besides the RKFM moniker? Didn't think so).. The recorded promos kept harping on about its "new image". Well that's all just fine and dandy, but how can a RADIO station have a new IMAGE that nobody can SEE?!!

Finally, what's with the cheap and hideous website?!