Ramadan, Week by Week

I notice a lot of people complaining about how this year's Ramadan is "not as fun" as it used to be. While I don't really disagree, I think the secret to making the most of Ramadan lies in managing your expectations, so there aren't any nasty surprises or disappointments.

So my fellow bloggers, here's my handy Print+Save guide to making the most of every Ramadan, week by week.

Disclaimer: This is a strictly non-religious guide. If you're looking to me for spiritual guidance, then you're in deep shit!

Week 1

1. No matter how secular you think you are, you can't deny the lovely feeling of calm and spirituality that descends on the country as... hang on... &%$#@*!! [curses the fat woman in a jeep who just cut him off on the highway] .
2. If the spirituality thing doesn't rock your boat, rejoice in the delicious treats awaiting you at the table when you break your fast. And everywhere else you go for that matter. Calories be damned!
3. The buzz of Ramadan is just out of the starting gate, with all the social and family visits.
4. This is the week where your eyes glaze over, trying to decide which "musalsalat" you will follow for the rest of the month.

Week 2

1. With social obligations out of the way, now's the time for assorted "gabgas" at friends' homes, or you might consider hosting one yourself.
2. You've sorted the "wheat from the chaff" in TV series and you've settled into a comfortable pattern. I bet Tivo could make a killing here!
3. Buy candy for قرقيعان and enjoy the last remaining shreds of Kuwaiti tradition as they become history. Start bitching about how when you were a kid... blah, blah, blah.
4. Ladies, this is the week to compare notes on whose قرقيعان was the tackiest.

Week 3

1. Guilt sets in and you hit the gym in a vain attempt to burn the calories you piled on in weeks 1 and 2.
2. Social activities start to slow down. You find time to check out the public areas like Marina Mall, maybe even go shopping.
3. Get tired of hearing yourself telling people your plans for the Eid.

Week 4

1. The clocks and calendars mysteriously seem to be going backwards, as no matter how fast you think Ramadan went by... the last week ALWAYS crawls at a snail's pace.
2. You can't bear the sight of the daily "Iftar" food anymore. In fact your food intake is greatly reduced in comparison to the first week.
3. You look forward to resuming normal sleep patterns, which you know you won't do during the Eid.
4. Everyone else is tired of Ramadan, since the novelty has worn off. فرقاه عيد indeed!

Disclaimer (again in case you skipped it the first time): This was a strictly non-religious guide. If you're looking to me for spiritual guidance, then you're in deep shit!