Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Ramadan, Week by Week

I notice a lot of people complaining about how this year's Ramadan is "not as fun" as it used to be. While I don't really disagree, I think the secret to making the most of Ramadan lies in managing your expectations, so there aren't any nasty surprises or disappointments.

So my fellow bloggers, here's my handy Print+Save guide to making the most of every Ramadan, week by week.

Disclaimer: This is a strictly non-religious guide. If you're looking to me for spiritual guidance, then you're in deep shit!

Week 1
  1. No matter how secular you think you are, you can't deny the lovely feeling of calm and spirituality that descends on the country as... hang on... &%$#@*!! [curses the fat woman in a jeep who just cut him off on the highway] .
  2. If the spirituality thing doesn't rock your boat, rejoice in the delicious treats awaiting you at the table when you break your fast. And everywhere else you go for that matter. Calories be damned!
  3. The buzz of Ramadan is just out of the starting gate, with all the social and family visits.
  4. This is the week where your eyes glaze over, trying to decide which "musalsalat" you will follow for the rest of the month.

Week 2

  1. With social obligations out of the way, now's the time for assorted "gabgas" at friends' homes, or you might consider hosting one yourself.
  2. You've sorted the "wheat from the chaff" in TV series and you've settled into a comfortable pattern. I bet Tivo could make a killing here!
  3. Buy candy for قرقيعان and enjoy the last remaining shreds of Kuwaiti tradition as they become history. Start bitching about how when you were a kid... blah, blah, blah.
  4. Ladies, this is the week to compare notes on whose قرقيعان was the tackiest.

Week 3

  1. Guilt sets in and you hit the gym in a vain attempt to burn the calories you piled on in weeks 1 and 2.
  2. Social activities start to slow down. You find time to check out the public areas like Marina Mall, maybe even go shopping.
  3. Get tired of hearing yourself telling people your plans for the Eid.

Week 4

  1. The clocks and calendars mysteriously seem to be going backwards, as no matter how fast you think Ramadan went by... the last week ALWAYS crawls at a snail's pace.
  2. You can't bear the sight of the daily "Iftar" food anymore. In fact your food intake is greatly reduced in comparison to the first week.
  3. You look forward to resuming normal sleep patterns, which you know you won't do during the Eid.
  4. Everyone else is tired of Ramadan, since the novelty has worn off. فرقاه عيد indeed!

Disclaimer (again in case you skipped it the first time): This was a strictly non-religious guide. If you're looking to me for spiritual guidance, then you're in deep shit!

16 comments:

  1. Thank you Zaydoun and welcome back again.

    How about some additions to week 4:

    1) Your performance in work and school are at a downward spiral so at the end of the month, you can easily blame it on Ramadan.

    2) You start to think about losing all that weight, but then fu6oor time comes along, you start to forget your weight issues and claim that everything you eat has protein, which will hold you up the next day of fasting

    3) The Kuwait National Soccer Team loses to India which can be blamed on the tainted Basmati Rice that the Kuwaiti players induced while having fu6oor. The Basmati Rice was tainted! That's why we lost!

    4) The TV shows you watched during Ramadan become more boring as it winds down to an end and you resort to Captain Majid and Grandizer re-runs.

    5) Moon sightings are becoming more prevalent than Elvis sightings.

    6) You start to hear those Eid songs in those pedaphilic childrens' voices wishing everyone a Happy Eid.

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  2. و الله يا زيدون جبتها. و كأنك تحكي عني يوم بيوم برمضان. يلا......كل عام و أنت بخير خلص. فراقه عيد.

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  3. You are right about the tivo thing .. I have mine programmed to record all the musalsalat. That way I can catch them later on at night.

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  4. week 1: ramadan ramadan when will it be over
    week 2: there are a bunch of empty doritos bags in the bathroom....
    week 3: will someone clean out these bags before i get caught
    week 4: yalla khalasna i want my eid money so i can spend it on more scotch.

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  5. Week 4, u get really cranky, work schedule is hell! For more details on this topic, check out my post, which i must add, that Zaydoun stole! So, you could say im the inspiration behind his creativity! haha!

    Nicely done though, everything you mentioned was on the spot!

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  6. Q. can you imagine all of that as one long comment? Credit to you and Mosan for bringing up the subject first

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  7. دلوعة... بالي كان معاك حين سطرت هذه السطور

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  8. تبون الصج انا مليت من تمللكم خلاص الحمدالله ما بقى شئ و نقبض العيديه و كل سنه وانتو طيبين

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  9. I have better advice, take vacation and leave during Ramadan. Eventually it will come, so in reality, the list below can be discarded in max. 5 years.

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  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  12. هناك شيئان قد اختفيا هذا العام


    المعرض البرجوازي المخملي لايف آند ستايل

    القرقيعان في مدرسة خليفة

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  13. سؤال : لماذا لا يقضي الشيخ صباح إجازته في الكويت حتى كنوع من التسويق السياحي لدولة الكويت

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  14. أبوحفص:صح كلامك.. ماشاء الله عليك اتثبت شئ غير الحمامات
    تعتقد ليِِش؟
    علية القوم مو فاضين؟؟؟

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  15. زيدون عطنا جدول شعائر قضاء وقت العيد في الكويت في أماكن غير مزدحمة بالمسلمين

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  16. ما علي منكم... انا رايح المطار الحين، شوفولكم صرفة

    عيدكم مبارك

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Keep it clean, people!