Saturday, September 17, 2005

The Nanny Diaries

أمس المغرب نزلت أتمشى على البحر، كان الجو حلو والهوا خفيف... كل ما مريت جدام شاليه أشوف مجموعة أطفال يلعبون على الرمل ومعاهم مجموعة مربيات، هنديات أو فلبينيات، وحدة لكل طفل، ومرات عددهم أكثر من اليهال

ما أذكر لما كنا صغار ونلعب في نفس المكان اذا نزل معانا أحد غير أهلنا.. يمكن ما كنا كشخة. وبعدين إذا تطلب الأمر وجود مربية تشرف على الأطفال لأن الأهل مشغولين، ليش هالعدد الكبير؟

وبما أن الشيء بالشيء يذكر... ليش الكويتيين اللي يحسبون نفسهم كشخة لما يطلعون مع عيالهم ياخذون المربية معاهم ويصرون انها تلبس هدوم الشغل - اليونيفورم - خارج البيت؟ يا جماعة ترى هم بشر، واذا بتاخذونهم معاكم مارينا مول يوم الجمعة علشان يدزون عربانة اليهال، خلوهم يحسون انهم طالعين معاكم كجزء من أسرتكم مو كأنهم خدام

والله عيب

22 comments:

  1. I agree 1000% percent. We have a moral responsibilty to take care of our help, not just feed and pay them! They would be more loyal and caring if we made them feel as part of the family.

    ReplyDelete
  2. العزيز زيدون،
    هذه الافعال في الأغلب يقوم بها القوم الذين تنطبق عليهم مقوله: ?متى دشوا القصر؟ قالوا امس العصر!?. كلما ازدادت مظاهر الفشخره الجوفاء والفنطزيه الملقاء لدى الناس، كلما كان هذا دليل ضحالتهم ادبيا واجتماعيا وحضاريا.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope someone learns from this Zaydoun..we will never be worth respecting until we respect the whole of our human family on this planet..and come to think of it you're right, our parents were always within a safe distance or we had older cousins and family around..and we never needed someone at our beck a call at that age..we picked up after ourselves and got things for ourselves when we needed them..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes that scene of nannies hovering around the children bothers me no end too especially at the beach or in playgrounds.

    I was at Kuwait Clinic a few days ago and was quite dismayed to see the young mother waiting, looking very aloof and disgruntled, while the Philipinna nanny did all she could to entertain the two-year old child. When in such situations, a mother must take a picture book for her child/ a favourite toy, or a pen and doodle pad. There is no need to take someone to hold and entertain your child when you are capable of doing so.

    ReplyDelete
  5. زيدون

    تعال شوف القرقيعان ، ساعات الخدم أكثر من اليهال

    ReplyDelete
  6. zaydoun wallah i was gonna write a post about the same issue, you should see them in birthday parties they dominate the scene man. ilwa7da lazim ta7sib i7sab il7'dam gabil ilyahhal, its disgusting.
    One more point, 7'al the uniform in public some even go out with the apron and the head thing as well!! killish man6'armo 7a6'ari.
    Some people are just too cheap to pay an extra few Kds to get regular clothing for the nannies.

    ReplyDelete
  7. One of my cousins had a birthday party for her daughter and she clearly informed all parents that no nannies were allowed... Only half the invited kids showed up!

    ReplyDelete
  8. اليوم شفت منظر أثار دهشتي واشمئزازي
    زوج وزوجته جالسين في أحد المقاهي الراقية وبينهم طفلهم جالس على الكرسي والخدامة واقفة على حيلها تشربه الشوربة!!
    حرام عليكم!!قعدوها! كأنهم مستعبدينها
    وإذا سألت هالبشر ليش الخدامة وياكم تقوللك علشان أتفرغ حق زوجي وأسولف معاه

    I agree with q80_demon
    They think they are royals
    اللي عمره ما تبخر تبخر واحترق

    ReplyDelete
  9. Zaydoun, believe it or not, i wrote about the same topic without checking ur blog!!

    If I read this, I wouldve left mine for next week! lol

    I guess great minds....

    ReplyDelete
  10. تعليقي هنا ليس على الموضوع فهذا الامر مفروغ منه. تعليقي هو على تعليقاتكم هنا.فإن كان الجيل الجديد من الكويتيين بهذه العقلية المتفتحة و المفاهيم الحضارية فأنا سعيدة أن مستقبلنا سيكون أفضل من حاضرنا.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mr. Z

    يعني بس أبي أشذ من القاعده،

    إحنا كويتيين وكيفنا


    8-))))))

    Just kidden

    ReplyDelete
  12. You know Zaydoun... back in my younger days, my dad always made a big deal that our nanny dresses in regular clothes- not her uniform- when we went out with her, and I never thought the uniform was a big deal. I guess now I understand why... ba3ad 3omri abooi, way ahead of his time!

    ReplyDelete
  13. صح لسانك يا زيدون كلامك عدل لكن من يسمع تأذن في خرابة هم بالنهاية بشر انا عن نفسي اعترف اني اهاوشهم لكن بعد احاول كثر ماقدر احسن معاملتهم لان بيي يوم هم بينتقون منا و على طريقتهم الخاصة و صارت حق وحدة تصير لي ما كانت تحسن معاملة خدامتها فالخدامة حطت سم فيران في اكل الياهل و بالنهاية صاده فشل كلوي :( كل اللي ابي اقوله ما في داعي للتفرقة و المعاملة الغير انسانية للخدم

    ReplyDelete
  14. and they wonder why some maids would actually mistreat the children.. If the parents are careless enough to leave their kids 24/7 with the maid and on top of all the maids are treated THIS way, what do you expect?

    ReplyDelete
  15. walla u said it Sarah, they bring a poor woman from her home country, i7ajboonha o ilabsoonha 3ala kaifhum, then when they go out they put them in the back with the stuff they have (if it was a jeep or GMC) iseeroon bil dabba. O they get screamed at by kids younger than their own children and sometime beaten up, all for very little pay. How can all that not make them angry from inside?! I dont blame a maid that mistreats children in a house that treats her the way mentioned above!

    ReplyDelete
  16. a3sab, "Some people are just too cheap to pay an extra few Kds to get regular clothing for the nannies."

    It's not a matter of being cheap, it's a matter of showing superiority.

    In other cases, some think that if maids dress up in a fancy way, it would look like she's doing it to empress guys or whatever...

    In my humble openion, I think that when parents go out, they should take care of their kids and leave the maids at home (to rest). If they (parents) don't like it, then don't have kids!

    ReplyDelete
  17. يا حليلك يا زيدون !!
    ليت السالفه على البزران .. عندنا بالسعوديه الفتاه الجامعيه تمشى وراها خدامه تشيلها شنطتها وعبايتها وسط الجامعه

    السالفه ما صارت للكشخه او لا تلقاها جايه بونيت ووراها خداماتها وا عبداتها مثل ما يقولون الناس الكشخه
    ما ادري كيف ما تستحي تهز طولها ولا عندها القدره على عمل شنطه وزنها غرامات قليله

    ReplyDelete
  18. hi, i often check on zaydouns blog and i love all of zaydouns topics, in
    fact its the only blog i check really, and i made a habit of calling my
    husband at work just to read him a little something from it and sometimes


    i save it offline to read for him when he gets home(right after lunch).
    this morning when i read the subject i immediately called my husband and
    read with him all of the comments on the phone, although he was late for
    a meeting but he enjoyed them and encouraged me to write something for u,


    but my baby wake up from his morning nap by then and i couldnt write
    anything.

    hes back to sleep now for his midday nap,and i think i have few
    Minutes to share a little something with u guys before running to the
    kitchen to cook lunch. i went through the trouble of creating a blog
    account just to participate in this blog! i hope this wont end up being
    one of my long boring emails that no body gets expect very few people
    hehehehe.

    my husband and i r enjoying our 11 months old baby, we love spending
    every waking moment together the three of us, we take him everywhere we
    go of course and he sleeps right next to us, we enjoy watching him while
    hes sleeping too, its a beautiful joyful experience, rewarding too. i can


    not imagine any other way of doing it.


    we have been together almost 5 years before we thought of having a baby,
    and we made sure we r more than ready for this new love in our life. we
    never had a housemaid to clean after us although we both worked, we
    enjoyed the mess we make, the cleaning up, and living together just the
    two of us without a stranger who would make us feel like a couple of
    spoiled lazy shesma.

    back in my fathers house we never asked the maid to bring us water, the
    cooking was done by either my mother or father, my father is the one who
    puts the dishwasher on, my mother was the on who puts the washing machine


    on, my father taught us not to make a mess in the kitchen while cooking,
    we thought it was rude to leave things behind us for the maids to clean,
    and maids at my fathers home do not wear this ugly uniform, they wear
    wht ever they like, just like we do, this method seems to work for us, my


    family never had problems with maids, they were all nice and we r friends


    with all of them they still write to my family and call on certain
    occasions.

    my husband always admired my fathers ways and he is competing with him
    for the best man on the planet award, before we got married he spend two
    years in the military kolleya and before that he was in the states so he
    was pretty used to cleaning up and not having help around, in fact, he
    talks about how much it bothers him to have maids control the household.

    after the baby, all of kuwait seemed to be bothered by our decision that
    no stranger is to touch our child, it seems like it bothered people to
    know that we enjoy changing his diapers, it was frowned upon that my
    child sleeps in the same room with us and not with a total stranger in
    the next room, everywhere we go people seem to be asking us is he keeping


    u up all night and telling us about the hard times we should be going
    through and that a maid is a must because we just wont be able to handle
    it. and that ur husband must be feeling jealous of the baby or that i
    should leave him with somebody and go for a movie or a romantic dinner
    and that a maid will make it easier for my husband and i to madree shino,


    and isnt ur husband scared to hold him??

    not only we didnt understand most of what they were talking about, but as


    a breastfeeding mother these comments offended me, why would he keep me
    up all night? when he is right next to me feeding while im asleep even,
    and how could i leave him and take off to enjoy a romantic dinner and not


    think of the biggest diamond we own, i thought the comments under
    estimate my husband and how much he loves me and loves the result of our
    love which is our child. my husband thought people were just sad to even
    think these thoughts but they do not know better and we can not judge
    them for it, ( when u know better you do better) we just feel sorry that
    they r not enjoying the happy times like we r, to think of all the
    potential for happiness every couple could have, its such a waste.

    the biggest thing that disturbed ppl seems to be me leaving work to stay
    with the baby, and im one of the very few kuwaiti girls who actually
    likes their job, i absolutely loved my job, loved the place, the people
    and the actual work itself, i cant think of one thing that bothered me
    there and its the job i always dreamed of doing, and i absolutely do not
    regret leaving it for my baby, its only humane to stay with a baby who
    needs mammy, a baby should breastfeed on demand for 2 years.if you r not
    up for the challenge, please dont have children just because everybody is


    asking, r u pregnant/?? when will u get pregnant??? how many years have u


    been married??dont do it for people, do it when u r ready, being a mammy
    is a full time job,think of it as ur new job, my new job at home makes me


    feel soo human, soo happy, soo valuable.

    i see my friends going back to work after 2 months or even less after
    giving birth, when all they do is complain about their job, and i dont
    think that they r desperate for the money, they need the money to buy all


    the expensive clothes bags and shoes for work, but if u stopped going to
    work you will be needing less money anyway. shopping has a different
    meaning now, i seem to be on the look out for any baby stuff when ever we


    go shopping.

    my husband and i have this little game we play when we r out, its called
    counting the parents with maids behind game, most of them r young parents


    our age, the maid is usually in a humiliating uniform, no girl will feel
    flattered wearing, she is carrying all the shopping bags wel rayyal
    kashekh o emghatter o mo shayel shay ( etha mo mashee jedam murta ba3ad),


    o ba3ad she is carrying the baby aw etdez el 3arabana, treated only like


    a slave or something they own, this ugly piture is a reflection of who we


    r as a nation, dependant lazy careless arrogant ignorant spoiled, it

    hurts
    saying these things but sometimes thats how i see it, when my husband
    points out something negative about kuwaities and say his famous phrase
    " only in kuwait" i usually think, the way we treat children is a mirror
    of who we really r, inside. and our children is a mirror of our nation..
    i do not want to see lazy children speak fluent Filipino or Hindi eating
    icecream and washing it down with starbux moka madree shino and their
    only form of exercise is playstation games, asking the maid to bring
    them pepsi and going to el fer3 for more sugar, no self education or any
    form of reading other than the reading they r forced to take in school,
    which will do them little or no good,i do not wish for kuwait to be this
    way.

    yes my life is changing, i do not know why people assume change is not
    good..i was happy before the baby, im happy after the baby.. and nothing
    breaks our hearts more than a baby attached to his maid and not the
    mother, in fact he screams when the mother wants to hold him and finds
    comfort in the maids hug, this happened once in front of us and the lady
    was soo embarrassed, nothing disturbs us more than the sight of a child
    speaks looks and smells like his maid..

    not to mention how the maids r treated, a girl i know keeps referring to
    the maid who cleans her bathrooms, cooks, feeds and puts the child to
    sleep, takes all kinds of insults from ma3azeebha, washes the dishes
    wipes the floor, "a nanny", she keeps calling her that, she is not a
    nanny she is a hero for putting up with all of this.

    i will not go into horror stories about maids and how they take out their


    frustration with the way they r treated on the children, and i will not
    talk about the cultural differences .. but im talking about a basic right


    of a child to be cared for by the couple who conceived him. its only
    right, its only humane.

    i know i should end this long "comment" now, but i can not leave without
    recommending two of our favorite books for new parents out there, the
    natural child by jan hunt, and how to raise a healthy child in spite of
    your dr, by dr robert s mendhelson. you will absolutely love them.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I still don't have a maid. 2 school boys and a full time job. My sister's maid comes once a week to clean but the rest: cooking, laundry etc.. is trully time-consuming.
    That, and I love love love going out so staying home to actually do all that sucks.

    I wonder how long I'd last?

    Totally unrelated. lol

    ReplyDelete
  20. عسى الله يخليهم لنا نافعينا


    off topic

    تراكم طلعتوا جيرانا بالشاليه

    مو انتوا عندكم باراشوت ؟
    ;-p

    ReplyDelete
  21. والله يمكن بس ما عندنا باراشوت، والطراد بعته السنة اللي طافت

    انا ما اعترضت على وجود المربيات من حيث المبدأ، بس ما له سالفة هالعدد الكبير منهم.. بس لا يكون هذول عيالكم اللي معاهم 10 فلبينيات على الرمل؟؟

    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. to (we love kuwait)....i raise my hat to you dear(if i have one). enjoy your baby dear and your husband and your marriage. its the best time of your life, and with the way you are living it, i think you will have many more to come.

    ReplyDelete

Keep it clean, people!